Nothing like a windy night...

To put you on edge.

Whenever Husband leaves for a while I feel a sense of vulnerability like no other. But on a night when it's especially quiet in the house, and the wind is blowing just enough outside to make the screen door squeak back and forth I can't help but be on edge. The random noises make the cats perk up and go on edge, and I consider them my silent alarm.

It's on nights like this that I sit at my computer in the front room with a cell phone dialed to '911' and a loaded weapon right next to it. Tomorrow I'll see what I can do about removing the screen door. It's useless and doesn't close all the way. All it really does is create unnecessary noise outside my door and I don't need that when I'm already locked, cocked, and ready to rock. If I hear something outside, I want to be absolutely sure that it's not a normal creak around the house.

I forget, is it better to aim for the head, or the chest? I think that tomorrow I'll also stop by the local police station and enquire about home defense classes. Of course I'm not going to volunteer any information about what I'm 'concealing' in the house, I just want to see what they would have to say. Also, if I have a cell phone number from another state does it still dial out to the nearest '911' operator? I'm sure it does, but that's just one more thing I would like to confirm. God, now I'm just babble-typing.

I can't help but think of all the victims there must be in the world that have thought 'it'll never happen to me...'. I have no interest in living in fear, just preparedness. If some coward came in and stole all of our shit while we were gone, that's just fine. Fuckem. But if someone came in while we are obviously home that means they're ballsy enough, and dangerous enough, to be my target practice.

The only thing that I'm completely sure about tonight is that I won't be getting any sleep and that's what pisses me off. I like my sleep. It's nights like this when I'm jealous of rich important people that can afford great big walls and armed body guards and security cameras. They must sleep great. Oh wait, they're probably losing sleep worrying about the government getting all their money... I guess we're all screwed.

Oh well. Sleep tight. I'm going to go snuggle up to my arsenal and hope for the best. Funny how it was once stuffed animals that comforted me at bed time.