Now I'm Strapped

Not that way, you perv.

I have a new gun that I keep by my side at all times. It's not as dangerous as the others, but it serves a purpose. One of the bastard felines that I allow to live among us has gotten in the horrible habit of pawing at Gremlin's door at 4am trying to wake her up. I don't know what he means to accomplish by doing this other than getting murdered by me...

Oh yeah, the gun. Yup, it's a Stingray. I got it at Toys R Us. It's ok, you can be jealous. I can shoot the cat from about twenty feet away without losing too much water pressure or accuracy.

Before I got the water gun I'd been rushing my fat pregnant ass out of bed and chasing the cat with a cup of water in the dark. Why go through all this trouble for a stupid animal? He provides good photo op's with the Gremlin. Maybe someday I'll win a contest for one of the pictures and it'll make up for all the trouble.

In the meantime I'll just get my kicks by shoosting a blast of water up his ass and watching him bounce five feet up in the air. I'm hoping I can give him a nervous twitch.